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..in the movie Prime you realized this time when you saw what was the problem that couldnt keep both of them happy. Specially the woman, she didnt let him walk, step on his own. She said he wasnt fully a man yet and thats why he couldnt provide her with the things she needed.
Now here's an observation you made that was there before but you didnt see it till now: the woman was overprotecting the guy. She was acting like his mother, she wouldnt let him experience what was like to be a full responsible man. She was most of the time in control and both of them liked that. Both of them were in a sense fascinated by the idea of Her being the boss, a woman responsible, able to support herself and not have to depend on him to do things. You might even classify it as hot in a relationship where the woman is older than the man.
On the oher hand is a turn on for him to be in a relationship with an older woman, knowing perfectly well that she is a big girl and she has the guts to do things younger girls wouldnt do or dare to do with older boyfriends.
Now.. she liked the guy, she was into him but afraid of him not being able to take control in the relationship instead of her. In other words for him not to fit into the official stereotype of being "the man" and at the same time she being scared of becoming in a sense his mother.
If you pay attention to this situation you'll see it clearly. She didnt give him the chance to develop on his own, to walk without her overprotecting him, therefore she developed the habit of looking after him like his mother would and he developed the habit of always being protected, or being looked after. So even when he tried to get on his own feet with her he would have that feeling of -no matter what happens She is gonna be there for me and she'll make it better, she'll give me what I need, she'll keep spoiling me, and I wont have to worry about it again-
Now, did she want that?
Was she trying to get those results from the choices she made?
Did she want to have a boyfriend to become her son?
No, No, and Nooo she didnt want any of that to happen.

What would be other way to manifest what she really wanted to happen?

Lets see... she has a boyfriend younger than her, and she is scared that he is a mamma's boy and instead of overprotecting him she could let him live his life. In other words let him figure it out on his own, let him take choices for himself and see the consequences for himself, let him know that he has a life to live and that he is free to make choices. Eventually he'll learn to be responsible for the choices he makes without a second mother figure being there to scold him or reprehend him every time he experiences the results of his choices.
When it comes to him, yes he will be scared BUT when he sees that he has to do things on his own he will forget about the fear of being wrong and he'll get through very well. He'll dare to take the steps on his own and realize that he has a life to live and be responsible for.
So in that way she'll have a boyfriend who is responsible of his own like and choices without her having to worry about how, and he does what he does. She wont be his mother anymore she is gonna become his girlfriend. Which means she wont be responsible for his like anymore than he is. In that way they'll be Sharing their lives together and not trying to control each other's lives or demanding.
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
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It's not the first time that such experiences have happened to her, everytime they come around she is in a different state of mind, than the experience.
She doesn't understand why, in this World, in this planet certain things happen the way they do. She can't understand WHY do people make a living out of talking bullshit of others.
It's looks almost incredible to her. She is doing this just as an observation not as a judgement (or maybe... just a little bit).
For example:

-Why people that you talk to everyday at work/school/streets, can't tell you in your face that something bothers them about you? (they go and tell others about it, instead of telling you; the one they're having the problem with.)
-Why after people are tired of talking bullshit about you behind your back they act as if you are their best friend and the minute you turn your back they are stabbing you right then and there?
-Why do people that have a problem with you turn others (that you have no problem with), agaisnt you?
-Why do people make a living at talking bullshit about others?
-Why do they kick you out of the group if you decide that you don't want to laugh at the misfortune of others?
-Why do people hate you, when you don't hate the ones they want you to hate?
-Why do people that have some negative "constructive" criticism about you don't tell you face to face, instead they make up a story of someone they know that coincidently has the same problem you do?
-Why do they call you Loner when you don't gossip with them about others?
-Why do you have to be like they want you to be for life to be easier?
-Why do they call you -boring- when you don't laugh at others, or talk bad about others behind their back?
-Why do they envy you, when you have nothing other than honesty, and a humble desire to enjoy life without harming others in any way?
-Why do they watch you like a hawk watch its prey, just because you refuse to be like them?
-Why do they hate you if FEAR and ENVY don't motivate you to live?
-Why do they call you -weird- if Love and unharming thoughts are mainly part of your philosophy of life?
-Why-Why-Why-why?!?!?!
Somebody answer her. Help her make sense of this nonsense.
Current Mood:
confused confused
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Morpheus:
Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream. How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

She finds herself answering the question: More than once.

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Now she is looking at life from a very different point of view. Interesting it seems although sometimes it looks scary. She feels grateful like she is closer to the truth than ever before. But yes she knows she is getting there. She feels it. In other words:

"This world is an illusion. Generated by a higher dimension of reality.

Morpheus:
This is a sparring program, similar to the programmed reality of the Matrix.

It has the same basic rules, rules like gravity. What you must learn is that these rules are no different than the rules of a computer system. Some of them can be bent. Others can be broken.

Gravity is part of that "matrix". It's part of the illusion. A miracle is simply over-writing the program.

Beyond the Matrix, who says fire must burn? A select few throughout history have transcended the Matrix of this world, breaking the rules and rewriting the program.

When the Jews stood at the Red Sea, they didn't have to dodge the water. They went right through it.

The Matrix is everywhere.

It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.

It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth."

Interesting isn't it?
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
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She was studying for a coming test she had the next day. A strong headache started bombarding her and she thought it was probably because had to memorize information she barely understood. She rushed to finish reading her notes or at least trying to retain some information. By the time she had 3 pages left a thought was loud and clear in her mind. It repeated at least 3 times before she closed her notebooks. Here is what she starting writing down without really thinking. Just jotting down what she heard in her mind:

"They keep you busy with unnecessary information so that you won't have the time to take care of the real important things that matters.
Unnecessary things are information they give in your current schools, newspapers, news, TV, radio, etc.
Unnecessary things they distract from are: Understanding yourself; Loving yourself, expanding through creation and Love yourself at a conscious level.
That way they make sure you live unconsciously to the things that matter in life and live consciously to the things that don't matter so much but that they want you to think they do.
For example in schools they give you information (to program your mind, what you should think, rules and regulations they want you live by.) And to brainwash you at the same time and make sure their programming is done correctly they make up homeworks, tests, quizzes, final tests, contests, they give out diplomas, recognitions, schoolarships and more. With all this they assure you put your energy worrying about them. Worrying about the same information that is supposed to brainwash you and program you.
That takes care of your self esteem, your self value and the way you love yourself.
Remember is not about you. It's about what they want from you:
Education; Health; Food companies; Entertainment; among others.
All you have to do is remember what they want and who you are and what you came to this planet to have the human experience for.
-How do you know when they are lying to you when you don't even know what's Truth and what's not?
Again trust your intuition; your 6th sense, instincts; your gut feeling. Although you've been programmed not to trust it; you have to make an effort and start doing it. Otherwise you'll get in trouble so obviously that there won't be other way out than to trust your feelings, or learn the hard way.
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Do not be afraid of what you create. TRUST WHAT YOU CREATE.
Trust that there is always something in it for you.
There is no power in your life or in the Universe greater than your own
free will. Whatever you choose will determine how the next step on your
journey unfolds. No matter what you choose, the Universe will support
you.

She is not sure she can explain what's happening to her. But she is sure that whatever it is; its for the highest good of all. She knows that no matter what happens to her she is safe, because she knows who she is. The past is starting to fade. It doesn't feel that real to her anymore. When she tries to remember back a few years ago; she can't tell the difference between a dream and reality. Because what was real back then, now feels to her like pure imagination. It may sound scary but she is not afraid. She never is.

Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
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It's been a long time, and a lot of things have happened. She went to see her bf again.
This time the encounter was less passionate and more passive. They gave each other more time to spend on their own; not like the first time that they barely let each other breathe.
She experienced different things this time with him. He was more submissive in every aspect than the first time. It's not a bad thing just, different. And to her different doesn't mean bad. Therefore everything is ok.
On the other hand she wants him to move with her. She thinks that in the city he'll have more opportunities that he doesn't have where he lives. Next year he is moving with her to the city or so they are are planning to.

She is known a new author of books David Icke. He basicly writes about how the world has been controlled by a race of reptilians manifesting their power through politics and other institutions of power here in planet Earth.
Lots of what the author talks about in his books make sense (if you don't close your mind and give it a chance to consider it possible) It could be very liberating for the open minded people. Even though at times it might feel like he's too negative on the thing. But then again that depends on which one of his books you read. There are ones that he doesn't speak of spiritually at all, and there are others that he speaks too much of spirituality. But is great content revealed in his books. I do recommend it if you wanna know about the origins of a lot of things in our world, that most of us don't know about or simply ignore.
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Finally she meets her boyfriend in person after 2 years of platonic relationship. There's something so familiar about him. He doesn't feel like a stranger at all. She is not nervous when they're alone. They got only 3 days to enjoy each other's love and company. The love every minute of it. Love is expressed through them in any way possible. There's no time to think. No time to complain or argue about anything. It's only both of them.
She knows she's there to give Love, and she's doing it consciously in every way possible. There's a silent message being transmitted to each other. They're giving Life to each other, feeding each other with the Life Force of the Universe, Love.
She's proud of both of them; of how they change the world with every step they take, every place they go to.
~No Regrets~ is her motto.
Her Essence is Beautiful, Amazingly beyond words. She is a Master. A Master in Disguise. And she is getting closer to the truth.
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
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Her boyfriend has advanced alot since the beginning of the year. It looks like he is becoming the flower he is destined to be. She feels a new kind of energy for him and in between them. She feels him different in a new (good)way. In some level they are getting better. They are more alike than she thought. Now she's beginning to understand why she chose him as her partner. He is beautiful; it can be seen now better in the Light. She loves it. A new him is being born.
She saw it again. The orange flying saucer in her dreams. This is the second time she sees it in dreams. There was a third time, but it was in between sleeping and waking up; (that pause in between) she saw it right after semi-opening her eyes. She is curious about where are they from. What's the connection? Does she know them? Are they part of her star family? She will find out.
Another thing is the way things are coming into manifestation. It's unbelievable. The speed is incredible. Yesterday in her meditation she was introduced to the experience of -energy following thought- Amazing! Tolerance is another big one that she's been learning and experiencing lately. It's like she is letting go little by little (still noticeable) of ego control issues.
Life is getting sweeter.
Current Mood:
complacent complacent
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She is so happy!!! The energies, angels, spirit guides, family of light are back! She hasn't been able to feel them long time ago (6 years ago). She doesn't know what exactly happened when she started to feel them less and less till she couldn't remember the feeling they gave her anymore.
They've been on her side since she has sense of memory. She remembers when she was a child, she used to feel them very strongly in her, within her. She was One with them in her childhood and part of her adolescense. They're the ones that gave her the sense of being from somewhere else. They're the ones that made her look at the stars in the nightsky and miss home. They made her feel different; like a stranger in this planet but she didn't hate it. She just felt like a turist in this planet. They're the ones that made her not be afraid of death when everybody else was. They are from the places she visited in her dreams in her early stages of her life.
Well those beautiful energies/beings are back!!!! It's almost overwhelming. It's like seeing your best friends after what seems to be a lifetime. The feeling is beyond words. She knows them, they are very familiar and she is soooo happy she can't stop smiling.
Yesterday she called out the energies that were interested in helping her and planet Earth; only for good of All that is, to work with her. And today she has this huge surprise.
It took her a while to identify them. But finally she recognized the feeling, the home-like feeling. She knows they are here to help her, to guide her like in the old times or even better because in the old times she just wasn't aware of what exactly were they. Just like the new born baby that starts breathing even though it doesn't know what the air is; she/he doesn't have a name for it. In that moment the air just is and yet he/she knows is There, Present. Something like that happened throughout her childhood and part of her adolescense with these energies. Besides being just a child She was somehow aware of being One with them.
And once again They are Back and she welcomed them, overwhelmed but more than happy at the same time. So far this is the best gift she started the new year with. It doesn't mean though that it will be the only one. Common sense, the year is just starting (giggles).
Current Mood:
ecstatic ecstatic
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